Pause

The thought of him makes me smile, cause just for a while, I feel all his warmth.

Butterflies flutter and my heart stutters, pauses then stops.

In this moment I am consumed by all of him.

I am his to take. I am his for keeps.

In this moment the world is spinning all around but all I see & feel is he.

I can feel his heart beat.

He controls the beat of mine.

He has become one with my heart.

He has taken on the burden of its fragile and damaged goods. But upon entering he has healed and sealed those cuts for good.

He has taken the pain and made it his own.

In this moment my heart beats through him.

His strength hurries through my veins at the speed of a wildfire. He knows I need it more than ever.

His courage lights up brighter than these Georgia stars. His forgiveness lingers, releasing pain one breath at a time.

His honesty turns my black roses red. And then, my heart beats… again.

With my eyes closed tight I look him in the eyes. There are no words to describe... Only unexplainable feelings.

Truth was, truth be, truth is.

Sometimes it feels like I'll never move on. Sometimes it feels like you're still holding on, too. I wonder if I'll ever be strong, again? If not now, when? I hold back the tears and suppress the thoughts. But at the end of the day I've fought and I lost. I can't stop missing you. I can't stop wishing you.... love and happiness...

If I could I would… erase the day we looked eye to eye and said our love would never die. I wasn’t made for this shit. I wasn’t meant to feel this way. I will never be the same.

Do you ever wonder why? Do you still believe in love? I often wonder why my love wasn’t enough. But then again what love? I admit it was probably just lust. But I must say there’s been so much pain since the day I went away.

I think about the good, deeply resent the bad and at the end of the day say fuck it, to all the things I thought I had.

Truth was, is I loved that shit. I fiend for that shit. I needed that shit. You were that shit.

Truth be, I’m over that shit. I wish I could forget that shit. I’m flushing you away with the rest of that shit. You ain’t shit.

Truth is, I will always think of that shit. I will always remember that shit. I will always feel a certain way bout that shit. But I will NEVER be a part of that shit again.

::All In The Name Of Love::

No more tears.
I’ll let the pen do the crying cause inside I’m dying…
Trying…
To make you love me, to make you see,
The beauty that’s within me in every breath I breathe.

But the rarest pearl couldn’t capture your heart.
That black empty hole,
Lost without a soul.
A love so pure like mine, someone like you should never know.

Not deserving, you’re left observing…
What you almost had,
What you lost forever…

Clouded by your addictions,
Were left with tense frictions.
From the book that’s unscripted,
You deny the truth you’ve written.

My heart bleeds in vain.
All in the name of love…

Not good enough for love,
But good enough to fuck.
Fuck it, fuck you & fuck the bitch you’re fucking too.

These cuts so deep,
May never heal,
But In my heart I know what’s real.

Regret I have some,
Resentment… I’m done.  

Goodbye to you, and your selfish ways.
I pray to god one day you pay.

All In the name of love.

:10 things to know about So Fly when it comes to love:

1. My biggest fear in love is that there is no such thing... and that if there is it will never last forever as nothing does.
2. I'm afraid to love and not be loved the same in return.
3. I sometimes think i will never be loved the way i want and deserve to be... simply faithful and true.
4. When I love, I love with all i have.
5. I don't associate sex with love per say. It can be an act of, but doesn't have to be.
6. The closest you can get to me and my heart is through a kiss--the most personal of actions. A Real Kiss that is...
7. I have loved, given all of me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually... and i have lost--which brings me back to #1.
8. I absolutely HATE people who can't decipher the difference of being in love and just loving someone.
9. If you think you want to love me, you better love yourself first! You can't truly love if you don't truly love yourself.
10. Finally--ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR...

::A New Start::

When I look into your soul, I know you’re worth the fight.

So I will keep on fighting for what I believe is real… and to me, that’s you.

You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a man.

You are the one I love…

The one my heart belongs to…

And as long as you hold my love,

I will continue to hold on to what could be between you and me.

Salvage this now and forever never regret another moment of this relationship

Put me first, above all else, at the top of your priorities…

If you love me the way I love you, I know you’ll do so.

If you don’t want to lose me the way I don’t want to lose you, you’ll find a way to make me believe in you…

To make me believe you’re true…

To make me believe that not a SINGLE thing could ever come between us two!

Show me that you love,

Show me that it’s only me…

Give to me you’re everything…

It won’t be easy to re-teach my heart trust,

But if you love me then you must…. Be real from every angle,

Be real with all your heart

Be real to yourself…because I’m giving you a new start.

To put the pain away in hopes of a brighter day is not easy….

But that’s how strong my love is.

That’s how much I believe in you… in hopes that, that’s how much you believe in yourself and in this love.

If your love is pure and true and I am the only one for you…

You will prove it to my soul and imbed it in your heart.

Because this is the last start….

::Letting Go::

If you knew I was yours, you shouldn’t have wasted time.

You shouldn’t have been waiting for the right moment or the right reason…

Because in reality, no such thing exists.

Instead, now as we speak, what’s left of our emotional attatchment, is deteriorating in your face.

Crumbling, with no intention or reason to be pieced back together.

If only you would’ve taken all the space and opportunity you once had, and used it to your advantage.

But rather, you chose to wait.

To be caught in a moment of uncertainty, doubting what was and wasn’t real.

Doubting whether those feelings you were catching were love or lust.

Rather than just letting your heart decide, you were a coward…

Emotionless, and ruthless…

Even after the more you chose to wait, I still continued to stay strong.

Thinking that my strength would give you the courage,

The courage you needed to be real and true to not me, but yourself.

I will never be able to tell you everything…

But I can tell you that I was more than ready and down, I was real!

Real about YOU.

But you chose the hard way, the insecure way, the pussy way out.

& in the end were both left without,

Without anything but the memory of what could’ve been.

Wondering if the decisions we made were the right ones.

I know and fully stand behind my decision and walk away with my head held high and will continue to stay strong and open-minded.

You, will continue to live with the fact that you passed up an opportunity that you weren’t even willing to take a chance with… now you try to sleep at night…

Reality Check 101

Are we meant to get "over" the people we love/loved at some point in our lives? If we loved once, do we love forever? I have battled this question for quite some time and have gone back and fourth. How do you know if you're really over someone? I have decided that if you loved once, you will care FOREVER... I have been trying to tell myself that we will always love the ones we loved. I was wrong... I don't love all that i have once loved. But I do love you... I hate that i love you... but i mostly hate that you love me too.